Memory
by Lotus
Summary: Ah, Freddie. Mostly, this guy is either bashed mercilessly or ignored completely. But isn't it time we listened to his side of the story? After all, he probably isn't as bad as some show him to be...


Author's Note: After a couple years of reading fics in the 'Sailormoon Community', all I've seen of Freddie (or Mako-chan's old Senpai/) are vague references or outright bashing, where Freddie is portrayed as more or less evil. But...we never saw this guy's side of the story. What if this faceless, voiceless character could speak? I think we'd find out that he's not quite as evil as some Makoto/Lita fans think...  
Also, this is based on the NA dub of SM, because Freddie has a name, and I didn't feel like making up one for Makoto's senpai. Oh yeah--I also don't own Sailor Moon, but that's pretty obvious. So...on with the show!  
  
  
Memory  
  
Yet another nondescript day for me. School, a visit to the library, and home, to finish my homework, eat dinner and to collapse into bed only to awake six hours later and start everything over again. Today was the same - but for one thing.  
Outside the library, there was a group of five girls. A tall girl, her brown hair bound up in a high ponytail eyed me. She turned to her friends and said ; "Oh! He looks like my old boyfriend!" It was obviously something she said often, about many others, because the other girls groaned.   
It bothered me. This girl was fawning over me because I reminded her of her old boyfriend. Yet for all her amorous stares, she missed something. She didn't know who I was. Who am I? A boy who leads a boring life. That is, after I broke a girl's heart. Who's heart? Hers. I'm her old boyfriend.  
I stopped for a moment, standing in the doorway, letting the wind blow a few leaves into the quiet hallways of the library. I turned and looked back at her. She and her friends had started walking away, gossiping and giggling. She turned back too, and made eye contact with me, then broke it, just as one would with a stranger. That's what I was now, a stranger. Didn't she remember anything? Do you still think of me, Lita? I think of you. All the time.   
  
Lunch break. A group of my classmates-- no, enemies, gathered to taunt me, as usual. I was red faced in fury as the others laughed. "Oh, does little Freddie need a bodyguard? Maybe he can ask his girlfriend!"   
One boy, thinking himself brilliant in his idiocy, pretended to shake in mock fear. "Don't be mean to Freddie! His big nasty girlfriend will come beat us all up!" The rest of the bullies laughed raucously.   
I could feel my blood boil as I took a swing at the speaker. "Why you--" The boy stepped aside and deftly dealt his would-be attacker, me, a blow to the side as I rushed by, causing me to trip and fall, landing heavily on the ground. The boy prepared to deal another punch, but stopped, seeing a teacher nearby. "You got off easy, shrimp. Next time you should get your precious Lita to fight for you."  
  
The name 'Shrimp' was inaccurate, as were all their other jeers. I was only weak when blinded by anger, as I was when I tried to fight back. I felt I had to defend someone's honor-- if not mine, then Lita's. But even then, I made myself look like an idiot. Some knight in shining honor. My tormentors found a soft spot and harassed me mercilessly because of it. It was Lita. Lita, who was stronger than me and the rest of the people in my classes. A younger girl, stronger than all of the aspiring varsity wrestlers and football players. It pinched a nerve in all of them. I didn't like Lita, I just needed a bodyguard. Lita should do my fighting for me. That's what they said. The worst thing wasn't the teasing, it was that I gave in, just to end it all.   
  
A light rain fell, and as time went by, it became heavier. I stood in the shelter of a gazebo as I waited for her. She came, smiling. It broke my heart. How fair, because I was about to break hers.   
She looked out, across the park grounds, through the rain. Her back was to me. As she stared out into the rain, I found my voice. "Lita. I-- I don't want to see you anymore."   
She turned towards me, her face hurt and bewildered. "What? What are you saying? You can't be serious, can you ?"  
"I am serious."  
She moved towards me, and took my hand. "Please Fred." She pleaded, her beautiful eyes shining with tears. Tears that I made fall. "Is it something I did? If it was, I can change it, whatever it is."   
I tore my hand from hers. "It isn't anything you can change. Leave me alone." I unfurled my umbrella and ran out into the rain. I could hear her following a few steps, then stopping. "Freddie..."  
I didn't look back, because I already felt like scum. I didn't want to see her face anymore, for I knew that I would have to beg forgiveness if I caught sight of her teary eyes.  
  
So you've forgotten me, Lita. All for the better I suppose. You're happy now, from what I've seen. If comparing others to what you remember I looked like-- or didn't look like helps you forget, then keep it up. You don't need to be breaking your heart over and over again over me. You're too good for me.  
I'm too weak. How could I have given in? Easily, I suppose. Maybe someday I'll be stronger in that regard, and I could tell you what I think, how I feel about you. Lita... Do you ever think of me? I think of you. All the time. It hurts.  
  
  
  
  



End file.
